I understand that when we are children, we tend to get into things. We can't help it, it's part of our DNA. But that is when we are kids. We have that innate nature to touch, smell, taste and look at things out of our curiosity. But when that very thing is holding us like a crutch, we have to stop ourselves and say, "It's not my fault!"
I know you may be scratching your head and wondering, "What in the world is Ms. Willa talking about?"
I'm talking about abuse. The abuse we experienced at the hands of the family member, family "friend" or even that parent.
No one can tell you that it was your fault. How is it your fault when you barely knew right from wrong?
I am coming to you from a place of remembrance when I was abused at a young age.
I was always told, "If you wasn't being so fast" or "if you wouldn't walk around like that..." Walk around like what? I was a child!!
These are not the things a young girl wants to hear when she is trying to tell the person that is supposed to love and protect her, that someone is hurting her.
I grew up thinking it was all my fault and no one would EVER believe me. So, I never told anyone else again and the abuse kept coming.
I allowed the feelings of that abuse fester up into ways of coping by being promiscuous. I mean, no one cared right? I was told I was fast anyway so why should it matter what boy I let fondle me in the locker room, at his house when his parents won't home or in the abandoned apartment down the street? I felt ugly, ashamed and unwanted anyway. It was like it wasn't even happening.
The unhealed emotions caused me to not care who I allowed near my body because it was a defense mechanism to shield the pain I was suffering. This is what I am here for, nothing more. No one will ever love me anyway, so why not just lay with any boy, right?
Wrong...
After years of suffering, I finally told someone who made me feel safe enough that I didn't have to hide anymore and I thank God that she was there and SHE believed me. And the words she said to me were, "It's not your fault. Stop blaming yourself."
So take these words to heart and understand when you are being abused, it's not your fault. Don't allow the abuse to go any longer. Tell someone and get the help you need.
I have included a copy of my eBook "Removing The Bandage: A Guide to Uncovering the Hurt" for free to help you get started on your journey. Click here.
As a woman who has been there, I understand.
If you'd like to schedule a session with me, click here to set up an appointment and I would gladly open up a slot for you!
Be blessed in all you do and remember......
It's time to STOP blaming yourself!!!!
Peace & Blessings,
Willa Jai
